I just lost my rain of thought

I’ve been so out of it lately. I haven’t done anything productive in weeks, it seems. I’m such a bum! And I’ve been getting sleepy a lot earlier lately. What is wrong with me? Also, I am very irritable. Maybe it’s the Spring Quarter Blues. I can’t wait for summer.

I’ve been flyering this week for this referendum we were trying to get passed to fund student-led sustainability projects called The Green Initiative Fund, which has already been passed at three other UCs and last night we found out IT PASSED! Yayyy! 74% of the voters voted yes on it! All that bad press from all those Negative Nancys seemed to have had little effect on the voters, or it could possibly have been the lightbulbs that we handed out that won people over. Haha, just kidding. I hope. Flyering kind of sucked and I probably didn’t help a whole lot, but it’s over now. Yays. Thanks to all who voted yes!

I am now sure of what expedited my sadness a few months ago. I hate HCo and am glad this is my last week there. Everyone knows they’re not making money anymore but they don’t want to admit it. Maybe if they didn’t hire such stupid people, they’d be able to sell more crap. I wanted to shoot myself in the head today because I had to sit through everyone’s stupid conversations. What goes up must come down and so my spirits at the moment are not so high. It’s okay, though, because I will get over it, but for now, I will allow myself to indulge a little in my sadness as I think about how lonesome I feel in this world sometimes.

I love winter, but it seems that this is the time of the year I am saddest, even with all the craziness going on. Here’s what would make life simpler. By the way, I went iceskating last night in Pershing Square. I’ve always wanted to iceskate at the Rockefeller in NY, which I thought I might be able to do with the roommates, but lame things happened and that stupid Virgin Airlines deal played some sort of game with our hearts, so we will not be going. When my cousin told me there was an outdoor rink in downtown LA, I figured it’d be somewhat similar. I’m sure it really isn’t, but it was still fun. haha. The rink is rather tiny with ice that’s difficult to skate on, and there are kids flying across the ice left and right, but it was still an experience to be had. I liked their version of “resurfacing” though. There was this little boxy contraption that this guy drove around the ice in order to get all the mushy ice off. Basically, it was a tiny snow plow. He would dump the ice in some convenient location for the other guys to shovel out of the rink. After getting all of that out of the way, he let down this towel hanging off the end of the machine and ran it over the entire rink. I was blindsided by the shininess of the surface, as I tend to be distracted by shiny things, and did not realize how bumpy it was until I got on. Luckily, there was no falling (not by me, at least), and we (my sister, my older cousin, and I) got to witness my younger cousin’s excitement as he iceskated for the first time. I think he liked it. That makes him sound so young. He’s actually like 17. But yeah, I like iceskating, and I imagine the surface is not too different from frozen-over ponds that have been skated on. We Los Angelians sure know how to rough it.

By the way, I bought myself a telescope the night after Christmas. It fills me with glee! I haven’t set it up yet, but hopefully I will get a chance to soon. Yee!

One thing I really hate is when people fish for pity. Grow some friggin’ balls and suck it up. Excuse my language. But really, we all suffer, and in order to get on with our lives, we need to get over our problems and learn from them, not try to make the world feel sorry for us because we’re poor little helpless victims who can’t survive without some attention. I’m not talking about every single person in the world, because sometimes there are circumstances that call for assistance. In that case, they are crying out for help, not hoping for someone to listen to whatever petty problem they have. Everyone has problems and it’s okay to talk to friends about it for advice or just to get it out of your system, but if you repeatedly super overdramatize it, lie about it, or talk about it just so people will express sympathy, it is very un-okay.

The people I know who complain about the most insignificant things don’t understand how good they have it. So what if something doesn’t go the way you want it to? MOVE ON. The solution is so simple. Don’t dig yourself a ditch and stay in there forever. Get out and find a way to make yourself more useful to society.

On a happier note, I’m done with school. Yee!