I just lost my rain of thought

Only a couple hours in and out of the sun and I am now as pink as Pepto Bismol on my shoulders and a slightly lighter on my chest and back until where my strapless dress ends. I look sort of like I’m wearing pink overalls and then there’s normal skin color in the middle where my large head luckily cast a shadow, providing shade for my poor epidermis that so rarely sees light that it blushes in its presence. I sunburn really, really easily because pretty much every day of the year I am in a t-shirt and jeans and very little skin is exposed. On the few occasions that I show anything outside of my farmer’s tan, I get burned like a mofo. Not only that, but it shows up really slowly. At first I’m only a little pink and then several hours later, long after I’ve left the evil rays of the sun, I turn a ghastly shade of hot pink. It just sort of sneaks up on me. I don’t think my shoulders have ever only been a little sunburned. Go big or go home, the sun seems to feel. Lucky me, I get to have charred shoulders while abroad. How will I ever hook my British boyfriend now? No one likes crispy shoulders. Oh well, our lovely photos with the grad were worth it. Pictures soon to come! Congratulations on your graduation, Roomie!!! I’ve been waiting to say that to someone for years because it’s been a while since anyone I knew graduated.

Really though? I was only in the sun less than two hours! Goodbye o-zone layer. Remember to wear sunblock, friends! Especially if you don’t want to have leather skin when you’re older. I’ll have leather shoulders for sure. They’ll be like shoulder pads. They’re gonna come back one day and you’ll all be jealous because my shoulder pads are built-in.

So I’ve been using Ubuntu off and on for about a month. Off, because it wouldn’t start up anymore if I didn’t defrag on Windows beforehand, because Ubuntu wasn’t given enough space to grow and my hard drive was kind of getting full. I was excited at first because I felt like I was being freed from the monopoly that is Microsoft, but Ubuntu sometimes causes me much stress. I’m not the type to stress out a lot, but Ubuntu’s done it. I don’t know if it’s just me, but my Firefox on Ubuntu is a mofo. When I right-click because I want to open a link in a new tab or window, sometimes a Save Link As window pops up or a Del.icio.us favoriting window pops up or my computer just laughs at me. Many a time have I merely hovered over a link without clicking anything and I have been directed to that particular page. When I try to write a post as I just did earlier, my text decides to repeat itself over and over again randomly so my post seems more repetitive than usual and not intentionally. Oftentimes, in the middle of my typing (this happens in Pidgin, too), out of nowhere a link will be pasted in the middle of my text. This embarrassed me a little when I sent an email to one of my professors and did not realize that Ubuntu had pasted the link to my del.icio.us in the middle of my text. It’s really odd because I don’t know what the pattern of it is, because I try to re-type what I have typed to see what it is that triggers a pasting of a link that I did not copy and it never works. Yesterday, Ubuntu was frustrating me because I couldn’t get my DVD to work in VLC player, even though everyone says that it will play DVDs. I was hoping I could install less stuff if VLC could play it, but I ended up having to install packages of codecs and junk and several other media players and finally Kaffiene pissed me off the least so I’m keeping it. On top of all this, my adapter to charge my laptop is being a son of a B and works but half the time it’s plugged in. And my cooling pad sucks major butt, working possibly only 1/100 of the time it’s plugged in. I feel like technology’s been against me lately.

As cool as Ubuntu is for the tech savvy, I have pretty basic needs and if my programs continue to be botched, I may not make the switch over to it after all.

And another thing, I can’t watch ABC shows on Ubuntu without having to install some extra shizz! This I do not blame Ubuntu for. I think this is just the network being a d-bag.

Okay, so it’s time for an update! I will start off with spring break. I didn’t really do much, but I did do all the things on the list besides rearranging my room. I flew kites one windy day. My fish kite flew very easily, but my new kites, though made of fancier materials than my old kites, seemed to only have like 20 feet of string so they couldn’t catch as much wind as my fishy. I went with Friendest on a hunt for kite string, only to fail miserably. Apparently, no one carries kite string alone. Our kite string hunt is to be concluded…

I had work every single day of my break besides Sunday night, because it was Easter and I guess Hell doesn’t stay open on Easter. Rumors had been floating around these past couple months that my position was being phased out due to the company no longer being as popular as they once were and losing monies, but they won’t ever admit that. We found out last month exactly what day we were getting the ax, May 3rd, and then one day during break, they told us we were being removed over a month early. I was a little unhappy that they told us with such short notice but at the same time pretty relieved. Later on that week, it occurred to me how much I wouldn’t miss that job and I probably would not keep in touch with anyone there except maybe one or two people, even though I have been there the longest. At the end of the week, my manager texted me and said that we were actually getting removed the Monday after the upcoming one, so I had another weekend of work to dread, which was this past weekend. I was so excited because it was going to be my last day of work there ever, but all of a sudden, my bubble was bursted. Towards the end of my supposed last day, I found out I’m being held captive for another month. Apparently, my manager “forgot to tell me.” He forgot to tell me that my job is never going to die, that this is actually my own personal hell. I’m thinking they are going to keep telling us on our alleged last days that we have been given an extension, so that I will continue to think, Oh well, what’s another couple of weeks? You can’t see this, but I am shaking my fist.

Anyway, with my kind of luck, I was called on the very last day to jury duty. I had only had about two hours of sleep and, with a purse full of reading materials, games, and Enchanted on my mp3 player, was dropped off near the courthouse a little before 8am Friday morning. I was confused about what to do, but the rest of the potential jurors and I were eventually herded into this large waiting room, where I would waste a large chunk of my day pretty much doing what I would’ve been doing at home during most of those hours anyway: sleeping. I situated myself on an uncomfortable but cushioned bench and waited and waited. I fell asleep (because I can pretty much sleep under any circumstances) almost instantly after attempting to read, occasionally waking up to hear what the guy on the PA system had to say. Each time a group was being called, the whole room tensed up. We all waited to hear our own names, hoping that they would never be read. Those who were called looked defeated, as if someone had just kicked them in the groins. When we were let out for lunch, I followed the rest of the cattle out the building and expected to somehow figure out which bus would take me to Little Tokyo so I could get some curry or ramen but found myself very disoriented. After all, though I do not live super far, I’ve really only been downtown a handful of times. I walked around in circles and upon giving up very shortly on hopes of Japanese food, I decided to go to the LA Mall. It took me quite a while to figure out how to get in because I kept arriving on the rooftop park area no matter what I tried and saw no food court in sight. I had to call my sister to ask her how to get in and after several more attempts, I finally found the entryway to Unauthentic Ethnic Foods Central. I spent my lunch on that rooftop park area that taunted me earlier and ate my salad gleefully, but eventually I had to return to the courthouse. I slept through the rest of it, waking up occasionally to see if I was picked and luckily, I was not! Yays. This one guy nearby was so excited at the end of the day that he jumped up and high fived everyone around him. It was quite obvious that he didn’t want to be there, because in the morning, I saw him walking in and grumbling, “Jury duty sucks!” And every single time they called names, the annoyance he emitted was almost palpable. So I was free from jury duty, and not only that, I was also one of the first few people called to leave. Yays! Somehow, I got stuck in the stairwell, though, and I kept trying to figure out how to get out. The first floor door seemed to be stuck and the second floor door wouldn’t even open, so I had to walk up to the third floor and take the elevator down. I wasn’t sure which was was north when I got out, so I just took the first bus I recognized to get home, but for some odd reason, it didn’t take me home. It stopped several miles early in Alhambra, even though that bus is specifically supposed to go to Arcadia, so I sat outside the Renaissance theater until Friendest came to get me. We went for celebratory drinks at Boba Express and I did not have to worry about jury duty anymore. I’m free for a year! Yee!

That was pretty much the rest of my break. It was nice to not be in school but it was way too short. I love vacations. This summer shall be a lovely one!

Unfortunately, this took longer than it should’ve, so I shall continue my updating (hopefully) tomorrow. There will be pictures too! Yeah! And by the way, both our bathrooms are occupied and man do I have to pee.

Um, don’t try to start something with a girl and then disappear and sporadically resurface. It’s not as mysterious and appealing as you may think it is. And it gets kind of old after, say, one time? As strange as it sounds, the whole disappearing act does not help to build a relationship, and it may, in fact, hinder it. And don’t be too surprised when she decides to stop answering your texts and calls. Just a little tip for those of you who think withdrawing is a great idea. Absence does not make the heart grow fonder when it comes without warning and there was little to miss to begin with.

I spent about a year fighting with the financial aid office to help pay for school and what do I get? A miserly number that I’d prefer not to disclose. Let’s just say it’s not even going to cover two quarters of tuition. All this bother with paperwork upon paperwork and I am rewarded with so little. I mean, I’m glad I got something, but this kind of loan is the kind that any student can get, so I could’ve gotten this much money without having to bring in some new obscure document I had to ask my parents to dig up, as if they aren’t busy enough, every other week. I think it’s a lot tougher on parents who are self-employed because the numbers fluctuate so much and all the office sees are numbers. They don’t care about your situation, because numbers prove everything, don’t they? Sure, you can take a second mortgage out on the house, but who wants to add to their debt? Financial aid people are part of the freakin’ problem, the reason why everyone in America is so easily swallowed by debt. Everyone’s borrowing money that doesn’t exist. Doesn’t that seem a little nonsensical to you? And on top of that, why is school so expensive anyway? What are these random stupid fees? Each of my classes charges an extra 24 to 30 bucks and for what? The three pieces of papers that they have given me all quarter? The amount of breath the professor uses up on each individual student? And why do I have to pay a seismic fee for Ackerman and Kerckhoff? I don’t even go to those places! And yet, with all these seemingly useless fees they slap on us and probably profit from, tuition still keeps going up. I miss free public education.

Quick note before I sleep: School fees are up the butt and financial aid is still lagosaurus on my funds. We are not amused!

One of the worst places to get distracted is the post office, because you end up spending more money than you should when you’re sending out media mail and the post office automatically charges you for priority when you’re not looking. Ugh. Then instead of making money off your Half.com sale, you lose an extra 19 cents. NOO! That totally could have bought me…a tiny pack of Chiclets or whatever they’re called. I used to see them at the market all the time at the register. That and these bars of chocolate with a little boy on them, I think. But those may have been 25 cents. I guess I should be grateful it wasn’t a whole quarter that I lost because then I’d forfeit my hypothetical chocolate.

One thing I really hate is when people fish for pity. Grow some friggin’ balls and suck it up. Excuse my language. But really, we all suffer, and in order to get on with our lives, we need to get over our problems and learn from them, not try to make the world feel sorry for us because we’re poor little helpless victims who can’t survive without some attention. I’m not talking about every single person in the world, because sometimes there are circumstances that call for assistance. In that case, they are crying out for help, not hoping for someone to listen to whatever petty problem they have. Everyone has problems and it’s okay to talk to friends about it for advice or just to get it out of your system, but if you repeatedly super overdramatize it, lie about it, or talk about it just so people will express sympathy, it is very un-okay.

The people I know who complain about the most insignificant things don’t understand how good they have it. So what if something doesn’t go the way you want it to? MOVE ON. The solution is so simple. Don’t dig yourself a ditch and stay in there forever. Get out and find a way to make yourself more useful to society.

On a happier note, I’m done with school. Yee!

There have already been ups and downs of summer. Ups: Smallvilles, like OMGerz. Beach! Being far away from Evil One. Oceans 13. Seeing friendlies. Patches getting better. Crazy professor at PCC. Not horrible grades. Downs: Smallville finale, AGHH. Sunburns!! Messy room. Patches getting surgery because of an abcess. Heat. Stupid pants party that took forever that I sat out on. Sitting in an oven of a car because of paranoia. Realizing that I should go somewhere indoors a couple hours into baking in that car. Computer being a bunghole because I probably screwed it up during finals week. Work. Was a few points off from the next grade up for ESS9.

I never did look into working at WaMu. Perhaps it is too late. I don’t know if they have part time jobs, though. I still need to go there to fix my account too. Bah. Speaking of fixing accounts. Anyone ever get that Scholarshare thing in high school? They’re cheating me out of 1000 bucks. Those hos. I’m going to fight for my monies! Roarrr.

I only like blogging when I am on my own computer but Drew Jr. is being an a-hole so I never turn it on anymore; therefore, I do not blog. I might have to reformat and I have the chance to now that my sister got her crazy new external harddrive. YEEAHH. A couple weeks ago I had a hankerin’ for a new flash drive that I could tote around that would be able to fit most of my computer’s junks. Unfortunately, it is thousands of dollars. Thousands of dollars that I do not have and probably never will within the next ten years due to debts and out-of-control shopping due to depression from debts, which will in turn cause more debt. That’s what money does to people. Makes them sad. So does global warming. It’s too hot.

I’ve been in such a weird mood. Maybe it was that whole shutting off of the brain and then jumping into summer school the next week. And going out. Unlike some, I like sitting at home with nothing in particular to do. But really, I do have things to do. I knit to avoid cleaning. I clean to try to feel better. But sometimes I get sad because I can’t figure out where to put anything. I’m such a packrat. Bahhh.

I want a job where I don’t hate everything I look at. Everyone who goes in there looks exactly the same because we sell that look to them. Because the CEO, Mr. Scary Old Guy with Cheek Implants, thinks youth is defined by that one look. I guess I’m just feeling kind of bummy. Don’t mind me.

No one mourns the wicked.

I am really angry, but at the same time, I feel sorry for you because you are so ignorant and uninformed and have yet to learn to think on your own. To grow up in an environment where everyone caters to you and babies you is not your fault. At the same time, you say you are a bad person but you do not seem to believe it. Under false pretenses, you claim to want to change, yet you never do. Deep down inside, I’m sure you think you are very wholesome and good, but people see through you and merely go along with what you say, in order to avoid the frustration of explaining things to you or arguing with you, because you simply do not care to hear what others have to say.

My tactics, I know, have not been very great or effective, because I just do not see anything worth salvaging. There never existed a real friendship, only tolerance. Eventually that tolerance deteriorated and it became more like barely getting by. I did not care to bring up problems, because all you do is try to talk down to people. My talking back to you resulted in you claiming that everything I did was “to get back at you for asking me to clean the room.” There is a difference between asking and demanding. You chose the latter and so I fought back, because you are in no position to demand anything of me. I am responsible for my own things, not yours.

By the way, it’s not my fault that your trash smells and you think it’s disgusting. I take trash out when it’s full, not when someone else deems it disgusting. I am not a mind reader, but I have common sense.

For those of you who think it immature or uncouth to write what I just wrote, I don’t give a crap. Maybe you should see her approach before making judgments about me. And have you been to Hades before? I didn’t think so. I am counting down the days until she is out of my effing life.